ctrl c, ctrl v
by ohwhatsherface
Summary: AU. Team7. I don't understand. This level of failure should not be possible.
1. i

March 12  
9:03 PM

To: OriginalPrankster41  
From: CherryLips0

Naruto,

I have this sudden urge to walk over to your house – which isn't far considering your mom and my mom wanted to live down the street from each other, I mean, like _hi_, they're _sisters_, haven't they had _enough_ of each other yet?! – and slit your throat in your sleep.

Just because you change five or six words doesn't mean it isn't plagiarism.

Love,  
Cuz

* * *

March 12  
9:07 PM

To: CherryLips0  
From: OriginalPrankster41

Sakura,

Don't you need to bitch at your boyfriend, too?

He was _so_ my Partner in Crime over this!

-Naruto

* * *

March 12  
9:09 PM

To: Uchiha2  
From: CherryLips0

Muffin,

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Love,  
Princess

* * *

March 12  
9:11 PM

To: OriginalPrankster41  
From: Uchiha2

Dumbass,

Nice going.

Not only did you screw _us_ over and make us fail the stupid, easy-as-fuck assignment, but you screwed over _Sakura_ as well.

Really.

Great job.

-Sasuke

* * *

March 12  
9:15 PM

To: CherryLips0  
From: Uchiha2

Sakura,

Don't call me 'Muffin'. It's degrading and right now, patronizing.

And nothing is wrong with me.

It was Naruto's fault.

-Sasuke

* * *

March 12  
9:17 PM

To: Uchiha2  
From: OriginalPrankster41

Drag Queen,

I am confuzzled as to what the heck Sakura is mad about.

Sakura's always mad, though.

I remember when we were six and she kicked me at our family reunion because I pulled one of her pigtails. Like _hi_, it's a sign of love between cousins, god!

But whatever.

She's psycho.

The. End.

-Naruto

* * *

March 12  
9:20 PM

To: OriginalPrankster41  
From: CherryLips0

Naruto,

Maybe you don't realize this but you got all three of us suspended for _three days_ because of freaking _plagiarism_.

My mom is gonna go crazy over it and might kill me and I swear to god Naruto, I am gonna go all Psycho Ghost Bitch Who Can't Go To Rest on your ass and _kill_ you!

For serious.

I mean, I _have_ the conversation still:

_OriginalPrankster41__ (March 3, 10:34 PM): OI! SAKURA!  
CherryLips0 (March 3, 10:35 PM): Get out of my life, Dingus.  
OriginalPrankster41 (March 3, 10:35 PM): Ha, very funny. Anyway, you know how you had English last semester?  
OriginalPrankster41 (March 3, 10:36 PM): Well did you have that creative writing assignment?  
OriginalPrankster41 (March 3, 10:36 PM): The one where you just write a story?  
CherryLips0 (March 3, 10:37 PM): Oh, yes, I did that.  
CherryLips0 (March 3, 10:37 PM): It's very easy.  
CherryLips0 (March 3, 10:37 PM): You just need to be creative, is all.  
OriginalPrankster41 (March 3, 10:38 PM): Right. Can I see yours please, you know, to get an idea?  
CherryLips0 (March 3, 10:38 PM): Sure  
DOCUMENT 'Creative Writing Assignment' HAS BEEN SENT TO OriginalPrankster41_  
_OriginalPrankster41 (March 3, 10:39 PM): Thanks! _

YOU SAID YOU NEEDED AN _IDEA_.

NOT AN ENTIRE FREAKING _STORY_.

MORON!

Love,  
Cuz

* * *

March 12  
9:23 PM

To: Uchiha2  
From: CherryLips0 

Sweet Pea,

You know what's unbelievably _pathetic_?

Last semester, in my class, we had to do that assignment individually, whereas this semester, your class got the privilege of choosing partners if need be.

First off: what the _hell_ made you pick my dumbass cousin as your partner?

Second: why the hell did you let _him_ 'write' the story himself?

And third: how could you _not_ notice it wasn't written by him?

Seriously Sasuke, the moment you saw that the spelling was correct, you should have _known_!

You are an idiot.

Love,  
Sweetheart

P.S.

IT WAS A FREAKING _STORY_. WHO THE HELL CAN'T MAKE UP A RANDOM PIECE OF SHIT STORY?

SERIOUSLY!

* * *

March 12  
9:27 PM

To: Uchiha2  
From: OriginalPrankster41 

Dude,

Sakura seems very mad…

HA!

Better get reacquainted with your hand, bitch!

-Naruto

* * *

March 12  
9:30

To: CherryLips0  
From: Uchiha2 

Sakura,

Stop with those stupid nicknames.

And as for your questions:

1. Naruto is my friend, and my stupid friend at that. I couldn't just leave him alone…

2. Although in the end, I kind of did. But really, that's your fault because you're the one who told me to just sleep over. How was I supposed to know you were sending him your story? You don't even let me touch your laptop!

3. I didn't read it. I would have noticed if I did, considering I proofread it for you last semester and complained about how girly it was.

And we _know_ it was a story.

Fuck.

We just didn't have any time.

-Sasuke

* * *

March 12  
9:35 PM

To: CherryLips0  
From: OriginalPrankster41 

Sakura,

I THOUGHT YOU UNDERSTOOD!

You need to look underneath the underneath.

Like a NEENJA!

Remember when we went to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show at the mall when we were kids and the guy in the Donatello suit made you cry?

It was funny.

But fine:

Cuz, I am deeply sorry that I copied your story for the assignment me and Sasuke were too lazy to do. Seriously, I so didn't think Kakashi-sensei would notice. I mean, who would've thought he kept the copy you gave him last semester because it was '_just that good_'.

So yes, sorry.

-Naruto

* * *

March 12  
9:38 PM

To: OriginalPrankster41  
From: Uchiha2 

Naruto,

Go to hell.

-Sasuke

* * *

March 12  
9:41 PM

To: OriginalPrankster41  
From: CherryLips0

Naruto,

Get _over_ it, Naruto, you will never become a turtle, nor will you become a _ninja_, so you will _never_ be the fifth Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

And you know, when you first had that dream, you weren't even a teenager yet.

But okay, you're forgiven.

I guess.

You just totally owe me now.

Love,  
Cuz

* * *

March 12  
9:45 PM

To: Uchiha2  
From: CherryLips0 

Buttercup,

AW, YOUR SENTENCE ABOUT BEING NARUTO'S FRIEND WAS SO SWEET!

…You're not cheating on me with my cousin, are you?

Because not only would that be wrong on the grounds that he is my family, but also on the grounds that he too is a boy.

Bleck.

Just like, don't do anything in front of me.

OH I AM JUST KIDDING! I KNOW YOU WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON ME, BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME, NOT BECAUSE IF YOU DID, I WOULD DEMOLISH YOU.

And considering how we're suspended for three days, you can come over and make it up to me since I was totally innocent in this situation.

Hm, three days of my Sasu-chan treating me like a queen…

Yep.

You're forgiven.

Love,  
Baby Cakes

* * *

March 12  
9:49 PM

To: CherryLips0  
From: Uchiha2

Sakura,

Shut up.

You're annoying.

-Sasuke


	2. ii

_

* * *

_______

A Forbidden Love  
by: Naruto Uzumaki

_It was wrong._

"_S—Stop," she whispered against his warm skin._

_His mischievous fingers continued to trail down the silkiness of her bare sides, scalding her at the touch. His lips fluttered across her neck, as he slowly made his way closer to her mouth, puffy and red, swollen from the force of his hot kisses._

"_Stop…" she repeated, fruitlessly pushing at his shoulders._

_He grasped her wrists in his hands and he smirked down at her helpless form. His dark eyes were overflowing with raw emotions; lust, anger, fear, loneliness._

"_This is wrong," she murmured as he touched her in all the right places and she fell into his arms._

_He chuckled huskily and she melted on the inside_

"_So wrong…" she whimpered against his soft lips. Finally, she gave into his warmth and held him to her, kissing him back and touching him and pulling him closer._

_It was wrong._

_But that didn't matter._

* * *

**ctrl c, ctrl v  
**by: ohwhatsherface

because clearly the point isn't being put across

**PART II**

(And uh, do I have to disclaim my own story? The thing on the top is from _How to Write a Proper Flame_.)

* * *

March 26  
6:04 PM

To: OriginalPrankster41  
From: Uchiha2

Moron,

Nice going, idiot.

You got yourself suspended _again_.

Same with Sakura!

How did you get her to share her old assignments with you another time?

-Sasuke

* * *

March 26  
6:11 PM

To: CherryLips0  
From: Uchiha2

Sakura,

For future reference, I had nothing to do with this.

-Sasuke

* * *

March 26  
6:17 PM

To: OriginalPrankster41  
From: CherryLips0

Assface,

My foot and your ass have a date tomorrow night.

Love,  
Cuz

* * *

March 26  
6:19 PM

To: OriginalPrankster41  
From: CherryLips0

Bitch,

YOU DID IT _AGAIN_.

NARUTO, YOU DID IT _AGAIN_ WHEN CLEARLY IT DID NOT WORK THE FIRST TIME.

I SWEAR TO _GOD_ IF YOU GETTING ME SUSPENDED _TWICE_ PREVENTS ME FROM GETTING INTO THE UNIVERSITY I WANT TO GO TO, YOU WILL _DIE._

I LOVE YOUR MOTHER LIKE MY OWN, BUT SHE CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU.

WHAT WERE YOU _THINKING_, COPYING MY WORK _TWICE_?!

WITH THE _SAME_ TEACHER!

KAKASHI-SENSEI MAY SEEM LIKE A MORON (LIKE YOU) BUT HE ISN'T (UNLIKE YOU)!

YOU ARE AN _IDIOT_.

Love,  
Cuz

* * *

March 26  
6:24 PM

To: Uchiha2  
From: OriginalPrankster41

Bastard,

In my defense, it was an accident.

And I got it last weekend when we were working on that biology project at her house and you two went to do god knows what.

So essentially, Sasuke, my suspension and your girlfriend's suspension is _your_ fault.

IF YOU HAD NOT TAKEN HER OFF TO DO WHAT THE TWO OF YOU DO IN BROOM CLOSETS, THEN I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN LEFT ALONE IN SAKURA'S ROOM WITH ALL HER ALREADY-COMPLETED-AND-DONE-PERFECTLY ENGLISH ASSIGNMENTS.

Be ashamed, jackass.

-Naruto

* * *

March 26  
6:29 PM

To: CherryLips0  
From: OriginalPrankster41

Cuz,

Uh…

Sorry?

-Naruto

* * *

March 26  
6:35 PM

To: Uchiha2  
From: CherryLips0

Cupcake,

I know you did nothing.

It's okay.

But I know you can do _something_…

(i.e., kill Naruto.)

Just saying.

Love,  
You Future Wife

* * *

March 26  
6:38 PM

To: OriginalPrankster41  
From: CherryLips0

Naruto,

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

_THAT_ IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!

I bet you thought you were _so _freaking sly, taking a story out of my anthology project to hide the fact that you _plagiarize_!

You.

Suck.

Seriously!

Maybe you don't realize just how _pathetic_ it is? I mean, is it _so_ bloody hard to write a measly one hundred and fifty words?

IS IT?

IS IT?!

I DON'T THINK SO.

Love,  
Cuz

* * *

March 26  
6:43 PM

To: Uchiha2  
From: OriginalPrankster41

My Best Friend,

Remember me fondly, old buddy.

As I am writing this, I have a terrible feeling that my cousin is walking over here to beat me senseless and possibly kill me in the act.

Ergo, I leave you my will:

- to Sakura, my evil cousin who will most likely be in jail for killing me, I leave my limited collection of books so that maybe she'll have something to do during her time in prison. I mean, if I don't leave her something to do, who _knows_ how she'll entertain herself?! (Well duh, she's gonna terrorize all the other inmates.)  
- to my dad, I leave the stash of porn under my mattress. Sure, it was kind of his to begin with and I just nabbed it, but whatever, I'm leaving him _something_.  
- to my mom, I leave my laundry and all those dishes of hers that are in my room which I've been too lazy to take downstairs to the kitchen.  
- to Hinata, I leave my photo albums (although those are really my mom's, like, not mine…) so she can remember my face as it was before Sakura brutally rearrangec it: beautiful, perfect, etc.  
- and to you, Sasuke, I leave my secret stash of ramen, and maybe a few magazines from my porn collection.

Oh, and can you take care of my fish for me?

I think something's wrong with him.

He's just been floating there all week.

-Naruto

* * *

March 26  
6:50 PM

To: OriginalPrankster41  
From: Uchiha2

Dumbass,

You're stupid.

Your fish is _dead_.

It's an omen.

Maybe you should run.

-Sasuke


End file.
